My best friend has recently discovered her cat (18 years old) has cancer and will die soon. While she was badly hurting from that knowledge, she found out her Dog has to be put to sleep soon because he has Kidney failure. How do I console her? She is in so much pain right now.and I live in another town.
Answers:
The grief over a pet is a very real and sad thing that should be addressed much in the same way as you would if a human family member died. If your friend wants to talk about her pets, let her talk and just listen. If she doesn't want to talk about it, honor her wishes. Everyone deals with grief in their own way. When we lost our two dogs within a month of each other, one from cancer and the other from heart failure (yes they were both older), my sons were very upset. I told them about the Rainbow Bridge, which helped us all.
"Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.
Author unknown... "
There is no death. Only a change of worlds.
- Chief Seattle
Dont talk about it ( It brings back memerios )
Just make sure your friend knows that you are there for her whenever she needs to talk. Maybe you can do something for her and her pets. Maybe like a little memorial or like a scrapbook with all the pets' pictures in it. That way she will ahve a collection of pictures for her to remember her cat and dog by.
Just make sure she knows that you care.
That's really bad, two pets at once. Be there for her, call her, let her talk, be compassionate. She's going to be sad for a while, no getting around that. Suggest she make a photo album of her pets, or some memorial. I made 8x10 photos of my cat so I could still look at her. I had a close friend that talked to me on the phone every night for a month, he lives over 100 miles away. Sometimes I could barely speak from being so choked up, and he listened and understood and that was a great comfort to me. Tell her not to listen to anyone that says it was just a cat, or just a dog, people in my family said that to me. Tell her there is no time limit on her grief, it will take as long as it takes. My 14 year old died 8 months ago and I'm just now getting to the point where it doesn't break my heart to look at her picture, although I still have a good cry once in awhile. Tell your friend you really understand.
That is a hard time. Best thing you can do is just listen, talk about the pets. Send her a card. When my cat died, flowers helped also. Kidney failure is often treatable in cats, I don't know about dogs. Vets often want to pts. But it sounds like her pets are up there in age, so it is just a hard time she has to get through. Just be there for her, you can't make the pain go away, but it helps tons to know someone cares about it. The hardest part about losing a pet is that most people think -- so what? So the fact that you understand she is losing important family members will help her, give her someone to talk to, when other people will just say something like "get another pet," or, "it was just a.." I hope this helps, I feel for you and your friend.
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